Painting makes me depressed.

(Editors note: too tired to make sense, so here's some very random and out of place thoughts on the subject.)

I'm not sure why, and I just discovered it. Though I'm not sure if it's the painting that makes me depressed or the fact that I get motivated to paint when I get anxious to move. Maybe it's being anxious to move that makes me depressed.

When we first moved here, I painted with a fury. I was often home alone with Kennedy, and had just moved to a new place. I was very lonely, and therefore, depressed. I painted knowing that we were not going to live here for very long. I painted, so we could sell the house. Anyone that has bought and sold a house in a short period of time knows that you have to raise the value enough to cover the realtor's fees. So, I had to put raise the value of our house $12,000 in a market with falling values.

So, I painted.

And painted.

And painted. Six full rooms, and a hallway. I painted everything...walls, ceiling, trim. Man, do you know how long that takes? To do it right?

I swear this house is held together with paint.

I finally stopped painting when I got a job. I was working, getting out of the house, and therefore happy.

Well, a year later, I'm painting again. I'm itching to get out of this house. The enormous mortgage, along with my outrageous student loans, and 2 months of layoffs has made me have to pinch pennies. It sucks.

Someone came to look at the house Thursday. I drove by while they were here and saw what they looked like. Then yesterday (Saturday), there was a car that drove in front of our house and stopped and looked. I swear it was the same couple that came to look at the house (but anyone that knows me knows that my facial recognition sucks). I would love for them to buy the house, but I've shown it enough not to get my hopes up.

However, their looking has made me motivated to finish up the painting that I started. Something to give them (or any other perspectives) the extra push.

Painting was fun the first 5 minutes, but motivation was soon lost. Damn, why did I start? Now I HAVE to finish it, and have no motivation or energy to do so. I'm done painting for today. It's already put me in a bad mood, and I'm trying to not take it out on others.

Blah.