Gypsy Soul

Time flies...

2012-02-08T22:30:00.000-06:00

Wow, I can't believe it's been so long since I've posted here. That's a good thing. I tend to not write very much when things are good. And boy, is life good!

So the fore mentioned guy I was dating, I'm no longer dating...I'm marrying!! He's so much more complicated and wonderful than I ever could have imagined two years ago. I promise to write more and fill you in.

To be cont....

What title did I choose?

2010-11-16T01:32:00.002-06:00

Holding Pattern

Or alternately titled:
   Crying in the shower DOES help sometimes, or...
   Vulnerable: Not Needy,
   I'm overwhelmed, Not depressed

Any of these titles will work. When I'm crying in the shower, and begging God to just give me an effin break every once in a while, I think in Facebook statuses. Sad, but true.

It's not that I don't have a lot to say, it's that I have way too much to share, and never enough time, or allowed characters, to say it in.

For instance, I'm feeling extremely financially burdened. Mostly for the fact that I'm recently divorced, and live paycheck to child support check. In an attempt to ensure a more timely child support payment, and to stop the fighting and stress every time he deposited it late, my lawyer drew up a garnishment order, and his company is now garnishing his check. Sounds great, huh? Well, what they forget to tell you is that it takes 9 business days to process, and by that time, its now been a month since my last child support payment. On top of that, my last lawyer bill came in. I've already paid $3,000, and this last court date cost me another $1,600. I'm tired of being broke. I'm tired of worrying about money. I'm tired of working 60 hour weeks without any additional pay because I'm salary. I'm seriously thinking about taking on a second job. What's another job on top of 60 hour weeks, being a single parent, and taking care of a house all by myself?

That reminds me, at some point this summer when I was talking to the guy I'm dating about what I would do if I got pregnant, I said I would raise it, that I'm already raising one by myself, what's another one? To this he said "You're not raising her by yourself, I think you've got plenty of people helping you. Her father, me [referring to himself].". I didn't respond to his comment, but I did mull over it for the past 4 months.

The thing is, all of those people are only around partial time, and at THEIR convenience, not mine! I appear to be the only one that is completely responsible for the whole encompassing job of taking care of a child. I told her father 2 weeks ago that she has a cavity. I haven't been able to take her to the dentist, and this would be prime opportunity for her father to step up to the plate, but instead, he denies she has a cavity.

Ugh. Too tired to continue writing.

No, I don't need you. I want you.

2010-08-02T17:16:00.000-05:00

Coming soon...

Needs MUST be met.

2010-07-06T21:13:00.002-05:00

I’m strong. I know this. I’ve been strong all of my life, through necessity.

Over the years, I’ve maintained this strength. It’s gotten me far. I came from humble beginnings, and circumstances that either force you into a life of drugs and dependency, or force you to survive. I survived.

As far back as I can remember; I’ve survived. There was a time when I was young, that I leaned on my sister. We survived together. She was older, and I knew I could always talk to her. She took care of me. She very much was a Mom to me, not just an older sister.

Eventually, she went off to college, and I learned to soar on my own. Well, that’s not completely the truth. Kenny took care of me. From 15-21, I dated a guy 6 years my senior. No one approved of it, not because he was a bad person. On the contrary, he was probably one of the best people I’ve ever met…his mom being the only other person better. He took care of me, he was good for me. He showed me how a person was supposed to be treated, with dignity and respect, kindness and courtesy. He was one of the only people in the world that has ever seen my truly vulnerable side, and that I allowed to scoop me up and take care of me. I met him too young though. I had wings that had to fly.

I’m happy that he later found a wonderful lady that could appreciate him. I was too young to be able to understand the full extent of the person he is. I hope he is extremely happy, and I wish him the best.

Other than those short years that I was with him, I have always had to be strong. I’m tired. I’m tired of being strong. I had one of the deepest conversations with one of my friends the other day, and she asked me a question that I’ve been thinking about since. She asked, “What needs do YOU need met?”

This made me think about my juvenile list I made before I met my ex-husband. The list where I thought he had met almost all of what I wanted. Unfortunately, I was again too young to realize it’s not necessarily only what I want, but what I need too.

I’ve always felt the need to be too strong to admit that there are things I need from other people.

Tonight, after an emotionally draining day, one that I really just wanted to cry, it dawned on me that I actually do have a need that hasn’t been fulfilled in a long time. I need to be able to lean on someone emotionally. Yes. I admit it, I need someone.

I’ve always thought of crying and emotions as a sign of weakness. (To even touch on the reason for this, would be a stream of long blogs that I do not have the energy to write.) I’ve rarely showed these emotions. Even when going through my divorce, it took me months before I ever broke down…even to my best friend!

Tonight, I realized that this is a need of mine. It’s something I have to have in a partner. I have to have someone I am able to lean on emotionally. I’ve been missing this for way too long.

It's 1 A.M., Where Are Your Kids At??

2010-07-06T01:49:00.001-05:00

Hopefully in bed, like mine, which is exactly where I should be. I ask myself why I am still up, why am I not tired? I should be. I had the most amazing and tiring weekend ever.

This weekend was my first long Holiday weekend without my daughter, my side kick. She spent it with her father. I'm still very saddened by all of this; he has her one weekend, I have her another business. For 5 years, she has barely ever been away from me. So, for me to now not see her for more than one day, is very hard.

It helped to have almost every second of my day filled with vigorous activity. I spent it with *Him. He won't have a name on here, much like myself. He's a very private person, or at least that's how he has described it. I would go deeper, and say that, very much like myself, he likes to control the information, amd who he is to others.

I do this myself. This is the whole reason this blog started. So I could have one place where I am myself. For a short period of time, I allowed people who know me in real life, access to my blog. I found myself filtering it after that. The whole point in my blog was to have one place where I could be 100% ME !! When I became aware that I was filtering, I abandoned writing on it at all. I recently deleted any links I had to this blog, and reclaimed it as my anonymous own again. I like it that way...for now.

I digress. Where was I? Ah, yes. I spent a wonderful, active weekend together. It was definitely one of the most romantic weekends I've ever had. The romantic in me, loves that!

There was lots of good food, good wine, and good conversation. There was also two 4 hour bike rides this weekend, a 4 miles run, and 27 flights of stairs climbed. I couldn't tell if he was just trying to help me with my goals, or trying to kill him. At least he's not a sabotager, I've had that in the past. A sabotager makes meeting goals very hard.

Before I left today to go home, he told me that his favorite part of the weekend was when we were at the end of our first long bike ride. It was night, and we were riding through a tree lined path in the Chicago parks. I said "Hey", out of the blue, then when he looked at me, I said "I love you". It was something I felt was simple and heartfelt, and really didn't think much more about it. It's nice to see that he felt it, and it made an impact. Often times, I feel like he only touches the surface with feelings and then backs off. As romantic as he is, he seems very uncomfortable with the feelings aspect of it, or of anything for that matter. He seems to avoid anything that would cause him to feel deeply, whether it be very happy, or very sad. It is this same protection or coping skills that makes me worry if he has actually allowed himself to open his heart enough to feel really deep love for me. This scares me.

I have found myself using similar protective tactics. When I worry that he may be putting up a wall, or pulling back, I then find myself doing the same thing.

I don't want to put up a wall, I want to allow myself to feel. I'm going to make a decision to allow myself to be vulnerable. I'd rather get my heart broken again, and be able to internalize and experience the happiness I have now.

I agree with the famous quote: "It is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all."

You got the best of me.

2010-06-29T00:50:00.000-05:00

I'm going to start off with making it perfectly clear that I never want you back. I don't know where the man I married went, but You are not him.

I never thought I would be in this position, having an ex-husband. I always took marriage for the vows I made...till death do we part.

Which is why giving you the best parts of me was never thought of twice. I was happy to give you everything I had, and never complain when you took the mile.

I happily gave my good body to bring the sweetest little girl into this world. I thought we would forever parent her together.

You got to see me at my best, when I was young and carefree. When I was fun because I didn't have any responsibilities. When I was patient.

I gave you your earning power, by sacrificing my own career, in order to make the career moves you needed to climb the payscale.

I gave you my time. The time I had to nurture a relationship without the logistics of responsibilities and an ex-husband.

I gave you my experience of being a new bride. I will never be able to have that with the man I grow old with.

For all of these things, I am bitter. I can't help but be. You see, sadness can't creep in because I have a precious 4 year old that counts on me, so I can't wallow in sadness at all the things I gave to you, that I wanted to give to the man I grow old with.

Would it be sad...

2010-06-25T00:05:00.000-05:00

If I commented on my own posts? Just so I know someone is reading them. And I do. For some reason I find myself reading each post over and over again, just to make sure I said what I wanted to say, in the way I wanted to say it. Neurotic, I know. The worst part though, it's not like I really hVe the patience/energy/motivation to actually go back in and edit them, if, err scratch that, when I find mistakes.

When I used to keep this up more regularly, I thought there might actually be people reading it. And, every once in awhile, someone would leave a comment, someone who came here by accident, or randomly. I also used to post links to each blog on my Facebook page. However, that was a double edge sword, because I found myself wanting to sensor what I wrote. Which defeats the whole purpose of this blog. So, for now, I will just post, and hope for some the accidental reader, and hope that something I write is interesting enough for them to maybe stop by again!

Fears & Regurgitation

2010-06-23T00:15:00.001-05:00

I've just discovered that I can blog on my phone! While that will help in my pursuit to write more often, I'm pretty sure it will reduce the quality of what I write. For instance, I'm laying in bed, seconds from falling asleep while typing, all motivation for spell check and editing gone, and in a rambling, incoherent state of mind.

Yes, I'm THAT tired that I'm incoherent. I have to be anymore, in order to fall asleep. I HATE sleeping alone! So, in order to not have to think about it, I wait until I'm absolutely exhausted to even lay down. And that's where I sit right now, eyes sneaking shut on me. Night my blogspot friends!

Long time, no blog

2010-06-22T21:33:00.000-05:00

My Dearest Blog,

I am so sorry I have neglected you over the months. A lot has happened. I sold my house, moved to a large city, and am finally moving on with life.

I'm sorry to treat you like a disposable friend. I tend to retreat to my own head when dealing with hard circumstances; shutting out the world. I promise to work harder on letting you in.

One thing about having a Gypsy Soul, you tend to find coping mechanisms when being free. Mine is hunkering down. I tend to only want to share the good things in life, and not burden those I care about. This has been a life pattern. When things are good, I want to shout them from the rooftops. When things aren't, I want to suffer alone. I guess this pattern hasn't changed. Things are good again, and so here I am.

I've recently started dating again. It's a little weird, after being married for 7 1/2 years. He seems to be a wonderful man, though I find myself scared and cautious. He loves to share his music with me, and on one of the first CDs he made me, there was a song by a British group called The Streets. The song is a slow rap, in almost a talking tone, and he is describing meeting this girl. Thefirst thing he says about her is "her last relationship f&cked her up". This hit home.

I wasn't sure if He put the song on there to start a dialogue, or because it is something he worries about (it very much could be - he analyses everything like me!). Even if he did, I don't think He has a clue as to how true that statement is. I've tried to hide it as much as I possibly can. I don't want to burden Him, think I'm damaged goods, or scare him off. But the truth is, that because my marriage ended with my ex cheating on me, I find myself untrusting of ALL men, even Him.

I don't want to be like that. I want the innocence and trust back. I want to believe in good intentions. I want to be nieve again...because being wide eyed is torturous. He has never given me any reason not to trust Him. It is not fair for me to have doubts, yet I can't stop myself from having them.

I miss the days of innocence. I miss the days where I thought someone was so in love and enamored with me, for exactly who I am. I want to feel special. And no matter how much he tells me I am, I can't seem to grasp it and internalize it. I stead, I find myself putting up a wall, to protect myself.

I want to break the wall down. I just can't figure out how to do that.

My first group exercise class...at a Gym.

2010-01-02T12:59:00.002-06:00

Wow. I never realized that I am uncoordinated…until today. I took my first gym group exercise class. I’ve done group exercise before, in the Army, but this was different. Group exercise in the Army usually consists of group runs, push ups, sit ups, various forms of torture completed with an M16 in hand or the use of your own body weight for resistance. I’ve always endured these, and even, in a sadistic way, enjoyed them. They were usually creative. Once I had to do 100 squat thrusts, yelling “You’re my dog, Drill Sergeant!” after each one squat thrust, when the said Drill Sergeant overheard me refer to him by his first name to someone else. So, it never dawned on me that I may have a problem with group exercise class.

The class was called Body Blast, and its description stated “Get the heart pumping using a variety of equipment, then wrap it up with weights and core strengthening activities.” What they fail to tell you is that the first 5 minutes is step aerobics. It was then that I realized that moving my feet and hands in a specified pattern, at the same time, while stepping up and down on a step, was really not my cup of tea and was going to be a challenge. It was ugly…REALLY ugly.

Everyone else were veterans of this class, they moved with such grace and synchronization as…well…a dance team. I felt very much like the newbie, but it was so bad, I couldn’t even be embarrassed. I just laughed my butt off…which did not help me with the coordination at all. Thank God it only lasted 5 minutes! We then moved on to squats and lunges. About 10 minutes into that, I was praying for the aerobics back!! Ouch. I am definitely going to be sore tomorrow.

Overall, this class was definitely worth it. It is mostly strength training and sculpting, which will be a nice addition to my cardio. I am hoping…eventually…I too will be able to master the step aerobics portion of this class. Then again…maybe I should practice a little at home before the next class. Maybe.

Can science & religion coexist?

2009-12-10T17:41:00.003-06:00

Over the years I have struggled with my own spiritual beliefs. At one point I even asked my ex-husband, if he believed in God. If you know my him and his intolerance for proselytizing, you too would have been as shocked as I was to hear him say Yes. In my astonishment, I prodded him further. He said not only did he believe in God, but he KNEW God existed. I questioned him even further..."how do you KNOW that God exists?" Expecting a one hour "Jimmy Answer" based on a laundry lists of facts and historical examples, and the reiteration of his last point, he again surprised me. He opened his arms out in guesture, referencing all that surrounds us, and said "I don't know what s/he looks like, or what form it is in, but whatever created all this - is God".

This was the most simple explanation, yet made absolute sense to me, but I still have a hard time reconciling my own beliefs. I think that my struggle is rooted in two different reasons.

The first would be my own childhood, as a child I felt like my mom pushed religion down our throats. She felt responsible for our religious teachings, which I now understand, but I think the lessons would have been more constructive if she didn't follow a cult-like sect of the Catholic religion known as the "Bayside Movement". I think her 'selfless' giving of herself and any possessions we ever had to the church (and if you know how poor we were growing up, you would know it was very little), instead of using those resources to feed, clothe, and house her children, also turned me away from organized religion.

The second reason I think I have pushed away is the way I have seen people, especially public figures, lobbyists, politicians, and anyone else that wants to push their agenda in a specific direction without allowing open debate, have used religion as a debate ending exclamation mark.

As someone who is outspoken, but loves the opportunity to have a real exchange of differing ideas, I get so disappointed when religion is brought into the conversation to make a point. I mean, how do you argue with religion and not sound like an A-hole? I just feel like once religion is brought into the discussion, the discussion is ended because there is nowhere to go with it, without it becoming extremely personal.

This brings me to my question, can science and relgion coexist?

I guess I don't understand why people would want to deny Global Warming. What is the reasoning that Sarah Palin or Fox News feel so strongly against the possibility of Global Warming. Why is it so hard to believe that all of the polution we produce is hurting our environment? I don't understand why this is a political debate.

I try to look at it from what we DO know. We know as a fact that the Earth has its own atmosphere. Think of it as a plastic snow globe. Now, place a large rock in the snow globe, fill it half with water, then freeze it. Then we're going to place a heat lamp directly outside of it to reprsent the sun. Now, let's place some wood chips in there and burn them to represent fossil fuel. As they burn, the outside of the globe (the atmosphere) gets thin. The thinner the plastic globe gets, the more heat gets through the globe and the faster it warms up the ice and melts it. The more it the ice melts, the less surface of the rock is visible. It is a pretty easy and simple experiment to complete.

So my question is why global warming is being disputed? I have tried to google why it is being disputed and some of the articles say that Global Warming itself is not being disputed, but instead the rate of the warming is being disputed. Other articles I have read say that Global Warming is being disputed because of the ties with Global Warming being related to the consumption of oil and coal for energy use. The use of oil and coal for energy is a hot political debate, and maybe the side of the political spectrum that you fall on for that issue is the same side you fall on for Global Warming?

The other issue I have seen is a religious division. Bare with me while I try to decipher the articles I have read on this, and please correct me if I am misinterprating them. Those that deny Global Warming based on Religious beliefs, do so because it places Humans in a position of power over the Earth and the destruction of it, whereas many religions believe that only God has that power.

So, my question comes up again. Can religion and science coexist? Why can't God have the ultimate power because God placed us here on this Earth and gave us Free Will. Then allowed us to run with it, whether we caused our own destruction or not, is ultimately up to us and our Will.

I'd love to hear others opinions on this subject!

Twilight: The Book versus The Movie

2009-11-23T19:52:00.003-06:00

The book:
An amazing love story between Edward and Bella. The feeling was slow, drawn out, you were able to feel every part of the character. The words spoken between Bella and Edward were slow, thoughtful, and not rushed. You could feel the electricity between the characters.

The movie:
Felt like a low budget, Made For TV movie. The characters were rushed, the speech was forced, disconnected, and surfaced. You could never break through the surface of the characters. It was like a narrated story where you say, this happened, then this, and then this. I understand they were trying to fit a 498 page book into 2 hours, but some scenes could have been skipped in order to allow more time for the development of the lead characters. There was no need for 4 to 5 scenes of the Tracker clan to show that they were dangerous. There could have been a short 40 second montage and then a premonition through Alice's eyes. The movie overplayed Bella's relationship with her father and mother, and underplayed her relationship with Edward. The backstory could have been told in narration through her emails to her mother (very similiar to how the director of the New Moon did this with Bella's emails to Alice), the way it was in the Twilight book.

Overall, for those two people out there who have not read the book or seen the movie yet, I advise watching the movie first, then reading the book. Otherwise, you will be highly disappointed. :-(

New Moon Review

2009-11-21T07:56:00.002-06:00

Over the past year, I have heard about the Twilight books, and the movies. To be completely honest, a book or movie about vampires never really interested me. I have very specific interests in books and movies, and even more so, very specific genres that I don't like. I hate sci-fi, scary, or unreal genres. However, I thought about maybe reading the books, just because EVERYONE was talking about them, and I wanted to know what the big deal was about.

I never did get around to reading them, which is why when I was asked if I wanted to see the movie New Moon, I was slightly hesitant. I decided to go though, despite my presumptions that I wouldn't like the movie. I decided to go because of the company. I REALLY enjoy hanging out with the ladies, and even if it is to watch something I will not like, I wanted to go just to be in such wonderful people's presence. ...And the fact that Taylor Lautner's hot body would be posted 40 foot screen, didn't hurt matters any either. ;-)

Before the movie, us girls went to get mani-pedi's. I admitted to my Mrs. Robinson crush on Taylor Lautner and how that was a main motivation to see the movie.

When we got to the theatre, we had to wait in line, even though we already had tickets. Everyone was excited, you could feel the movie cult excitement, and it was contagious.

When I finally got to my seat, the theatre was packed. You could feel the excitement. I decided that feeling the excitement and hanging out with the girls would make this worth while, even if I ended up not liking the movie. I also must note that I believe there were less than 10 guys in the whole theatre! LOL.

After seeing the movie, I HIGHLY recommend it. I recommend it, not only for those TwiHard fans, but for everyone. This movie has everything you need for the perfect movie.

For people like me, who are not into vampires and werewolves, this is a Love Story first and foremost. The fact that the people are Vampires and Werewolves is just a side item to the story. The real story is the love triangle between Edward, Bella, and Jacob.

Another thing I must note is that this story is impecably written! The story takes you on the roller coaster that any good story does. You feel the characters. You feel their saddness, happiness, love, and even more so...their LUST.

In the movie, Bella is torn between the undying love she has for Edward, and her undying friendship love for Jacob. Both Edward and Jacob are madly in love with Bella. Edward must leave Bella and never see her again to protect her for from being killed. As long as his arch nemesis knows his depth of love for Bella, Bella's life is in danger. After a complete heart break, Bella spends time with Jacob in order to heal. Jacob lives near Bella and has apparently been in love with her for years. His love only grows more intense as he spends time with her. While Bella loves Jacob too, she loves Edward even more, and lives and breaths to hold onto Edward's memory.

Throughout the movie, you feel Jacob's desire, and anyone that is Team Jacob gets aggravated at the tease that Bella is. I don't want to reveal who gets the girl in the end because the polarization of the two teams is part of the fun of the movie.

One thing I was extremely surprised about, is the amount of humor in this movie, both written into the script, and the humor experienced by watching and reflecting on the audience. There is a point in the movie where the character Jacob (Taylor Lautner) first takes off his shirt. At the very second that he reveals his abs, the WHOLE theatre gasps in excitement and admiration. (Including myself...hehehe) At this point, my group of girls dies laughing at the response of the audience (including me, at myself!). LOL.

I cannot tell you how great of a movie this is. You do not have to read the books or see the previous movie to see New Moon, but just enjoy it for the story that it is within itself. With that said, I have to admit that I do now want to read the books, and see the other movie.

Part of the appeal of this story is the love and desire that these characters have for each other. I think this resonates in girls because it is the love and desire that we all want to feel. I highly recommend everyone to see New Moon. The guys will love it for the action and the girls will love it for the love story.

Turkey Marinade

2009-11-15T09:42:00.003-06:00

Ingredients:
• 1 stick butter, cut into pieces, room temperature
• 1 can of Orange juice concentrate thawed
• 6 cloves of garlic chopped
• 2 tablespoons chopped fresh thyme
• 2 tablespoons of Rosemary
• 8 lemons juiced (save de-juice lemon to stuff inside turkey!)
• 3/4 teaspoon salt
• 3/4 teaspoon pepper

Preparation:
Chop Thyme, Rosemary, & Garlic. Cut Lemons in half and juice, making sure to remove the seeds. Stuff the Turkey with the Lemons after they’ve been squeezed. Combine everything except butter in a bowl and mix thoroughly. Rub turkey with butter, then place some of the butter cut into slices inside Turkey. Cut slices into Turkey with knife to allow marinade to get inside turkey. Pour marinade over turkey, placing pieces of the garlic inside the cut slices and marinade overnight.

Position oven rack in bottom third of oven and preheat to 325°F.

Roast turkey until golden, basting occasionally with pan drippings, about 2 hours. Cover entire turkey loosely with heavy-duty foil and roast until meat thermometer inserted into innermost part of thigh registers 180°F or until juices run clear when thickest part of thigh is pierced with skewer, basting occasionally with pan juices, about 1 1/2 hours longer. Transfer turkey to platter. Tent turkey with foil and let stand to set.

Time to End Don't Ask, Don't Tell

2009-11-11T10:54:00.000-06:00

The majority of the people that still care about maintaining the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy are conservatives that have never served in the military. Currently, “three-quarters of Americans support allowing gays to serve in the military, whether they "tell" or not” (ABCNews). Those that have actually served in the military, especially in a combat zone, know that a person’s sexuality is one of the furthest things from their mind. So, why are we still keeping a policy that only a minority of the population supports?

We have now seen that a Soldier’s sexual orientation does not determine the kind of Soldier that he will be. We have seen exemplary service from them. One example is SGT Darren Manzella, who served a in a deployment in 2005, then served his 15-month deployment with his unit knowing he was gay. It only became a problem when he agreed to be interviewed by the Service Members Legal Defense Network for a story on those affected by the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy. Over the next seven months, Manzella returned from deployment, spent time with family, testified on Capital Hill regarding Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell. He was even given orders to go to his next duty station, Fort Drum. Only a week after receiving his orders, he was called into his Commanders office and told he was being discharged from the Army under the Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell policy.

SGT Manzella was a Combat proven Soldier. With his discharge, the Army lost all of the money that they spent training him, and even more valuable, they lost his experience. I just don’t see how we can continue to uphold Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell when we have seen that the Soldier and their Unit have no problem with serving side by side. As one former Soldier told me “it is much preferred by anyone, who has actually served, to serve with a competent, reliable person who you know is going to look out for you, regardless of sexual orientation”.

As a former Soldier myself, who has served with gays and lesbians, I have found it no different than serving with anyone else. I even served with two women in my Unit who had been in a relationship and lived together for years. The kept their military life professional. I found going to the field with them, living in barracks, or even, oh, dare I say it, showering in the same common showers, as no different as any other Soldier I served beside.

Another example is Lt. Col. Victor Fehrenbach, who has honorable served 18 years as an Officer in the Air Force. “Fehrenbach’s experience as an instructor-level weapons systems officer included time in both the F-15E Strike Eagle and the EF-111 Raven. Missions took him over Baghdad during the 2003 invasion, above Afghanistan in 2002 and into the Balkans for Operation Allied Force in 1999. He has 2,180 flying hours, nine Air Medals — one for heroism — and five Air Force Commendation Medals” (Air Force Times), yet he is now being discharged after a civilian acquaintance identified him as gay to military officials. The amount of money spent training Lt. Col Fehrenbach, along with his invaluable experience and heroics, is a great loss to the Air Force.

In a time when we are still fighting two wars, and our military being stretched so thin, I find it appalling that the military is willing to give up such valuable Soldiers and experience for the discriminating views of such a small minority. It is time to finally put an end Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell.

Lowfat Mocha Coffee

2009-11-07T08:33:00.004-06:00

Ingredients:
3/4 cup of regular black coffee
1/2 cup of nonfat milk
1 packet of splenda
1/2 tbsp of sugar free chocolate syrup
1 serving of Reddi Whip (100 grams)

Directions:
While coffee is brewing, add one package of splenda, 1/2 tbs of chocolate syrup, and 1/2 cup of milk into a coffee cup and stir. Heat in microwave on high for 1 minute, remove and fill to the top of the cup with coffee. Top off with Reddi Whip.

Nutritional Info:
Servings Per Recipe: 1
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 148.4
Total Fat: 0.2 g
Cholesterol: 18.5 mg
Sodium: 151.7 mg
Total Carbs: 33.2 g
Dietary Fiber: 0.4 g
Protein: 7.4 g

Stuffed Zucchini & Tomatoes

2009-10-31T11:24:00.011-05:00

I should start off with saying that this would have been a WHOLE lot easier with a food processor.

Ingredients:

1 cup of Cherry Tomatoes
3 Zucchini
2 cups of cauliflower
1 cup of nonfat cottage cheese
1/4 cup of grated parmesan cheese
1/4 cup of shredded parmesan cheese
1 tbsp of italian seasoning
1/4 tsp of pepper
dash of salt

I started off by taking a melon baller and removing the inside of the zucchini to make little boats.

I then cut up and cooked the inside of the zucchini that I had scooped out, along with the garlic.

While that cooked down until the zucchini was tender, I steamed the cauliflower. You can also use Bird's Eye bagged cauliflower that you steam in the bag to make this a little easier and faster.

Next, I mixed the zucchini & garlic mixture with the cauliflower with a mixer.

And added the cottage cheese, italian seasoning, salt & pepper and mixed.

Then added all of the grated parmesan cheese and half of the shredded parmesan cheese, mixed together, then stuffed the mixture into the zucchini boats and tomatoes, and sprinkled the remaining shredded parmesan cheese on top.

Finally, I placed them in the oven at 350 degrees Farenheit for 20 minutes and served hot.

Nutritional Info:
Servings Per Recipe: 4
Amount Per Serving
Calories: 122.3
Total Fat: 4.4 g
Cholesterol: 13.5 mg
Sodium: 603.9 mg
Total Carbs: 8.1 g
Dietary Fiber: 1.1 g
Protein: 13.2 g

The American Dream....just a Fairy Tale

2009-10-20T18:37:00.002-05:00

Growing up, I was taught to work hard and give 150%. I bought into the Protestant Work Ethic, and the American Dream, where anyone can succeed if they work hard enough and get a good education. I heard stories of companies that valued their employees. Where the employee wanted to work hard and help their employer succeed, and in return for their loyalty, the companies valued their employees, treated them like family and helped and supported them in hard times. The companies and employees worked hand in hand to help a business succeed in times of recession. Companies didn't layoff thousands of employees because profits had dropped a little, instead, they worked with their employees on plans to turn the business around. Or worse...when profits were still rising, companies didn't layoff half the workforce and work the other half to death, just in hopes of a 1% increase in profits.

I grew up believing that if I worked hard, and received a good education, then my future and career would be successful. I believed this was the key to success, but all it was, was a fairy tale. Instead companies function on Contingent workforces, where the same work is performed by professional, college educated employees without benefits or any certain future. Eventually, their Contingent assignment will end or they will be laid off. Women make up two-thirds of the Contingent Workforce. This isn't surprising since women historically are under employed and under paid. The Contingent workforce is the new way employers keep women underpaid.

I am saddened to see that everything I grew up believing was a lie. I'm saddened by the way hard working people are thrown by the way side, to make just a few more bucks. I'm especially saddened when I see MY company do this very thing…when I know the people being laid off, and know how good they are. I'm saddened that in a town, where jobs are few and far between, these laid off former Contingent employees will struggle to keep their roof over their head. I'm saddened when I see one of the sweetest girls I've ever met, who has worked her butt off working 40+ hours a week, while going to school full time, and was told that she would be back after the shut down; I'm saddened to see a Personnel Movement Authorization Document for this person, with her assignment permanently ending. She grew up in this small town with hopes of one day making a career at John Deere. I'm saddened for her dream that is now lost; for her dream that was just a fairy tale.

How Lil Wayne could have saved my Life.

2009-09-22T11:04:00.004-05:00

Ok, so this might be a little like the 6 Degrees of Separation game, but follow along anyway. :-)

This past weekend, while painting, I was listening to E!'s biography on Lil Wayne in the background. I was actually amazed at his life, ambition, and his talent as a rapper. Often we only see the outside appearance of a person, what they allow us to see, or the news stories where they are caught behaving badly. We don't really see the full person. I equate this to how little we really know our aquaintances....or, let's face it, our Facebook 'friends'.

On the show, I learned that he started rapping at 8...yes, I said 8! And he was signed to a label at 12! He was in the gifted program in school, until he dropped out at 14. Despite dropping out of school, he eventually earned his GED and enrolled at the University of Houston in 2005, earning high grades and majoring in Political Science. I was also surprised to learn that he was the original person to coined the term "bling" while recording one of his albums.

So, what does all of this have to do with me? During the interview he was asked about his rumored drug use. He noted that he uses marijuana recreationally, but that he was no longer addicted to the "purple juice". The narrator explained that "purple juice" was a reference to his addiction to cough syrup. This actually perked my ears up. I had studied many drugs in my Criminology classes, but had never heard of anyone being addicted to cough syrup. I was also interested because I often treat my allergies with Nyquil (it is a cheaper alternative to allergy medicine since it has an antihistimine in it).

After researching addiction to cough syrup online, I found out that the addiction is to the codeine in the cough syrup. It is cheaper than most drugs, and legal. One thing I also found during my research was that certain common medications can be deadly when taken in conjunction with cough syrup. One of those being another over-the-counter allergy medications I often take! Cough syrup taken in conjunction with Claritin can be deadly. I can't tell you how many times I have taken this combination.

I used to be on allergy shots when we were on military health insurance, but since switching to the Corporate world, I now have United Health Care. I pay $1,000 per month for premiums, and since the deductible is $5,000, I end up paying for 100% of my own doctor visits, medicines, xrays, etc. After getting the bill for my first month of allergy shots ($500), I stopped getting the shots and started self treating with over-the-counter medication. I usually take Sudafed when stopped up during the day, Claritin as a preventative measure, and NyQuil at night because of the antihistimine it contains. I can't tell you how many times I have often taken them all together, when I am suffering really bad from allergies. Thanks to Lil Wayne, I now know how dangerous that is, and how lucky I am to still be alive.

Thanks Lil Wayne for saving my life!

Painting makes me depressed.

2009-09-20T19:15:00.003-05:00

(Editors note: too tired to make sense, so here's some very random and out of place thoughts on the subject.)

I'm not sure why, and I just discovered it. Though I'm not sure if it's the painting that makes me depressed or the fact that I get motivated to paint when I get anxious to move. Maybe it's being anxious to move that makes me depressed.

When we first moved here, I painted with a fury. I was often home alone with Kennedy, and had just moved to a new place. I was very lonely, and therefore, depressed. I painted knowing that we were not going to live here for very long. I painted, so we could sell the house. Anyone that has bought and sold a house in a short period of time knows that you have to raise the value enough to cover the realtor's fees. So, I had to put raise the value of our house $12,000 in a market with falling values.

So, I painted.

And painted.

And painted. Six full rooms, and a hallway. I painted everything...walls, ceiling, trim. Man, do you know how long that takes? To do it right?

I swear this house is held together with paint.

I finally stopped painting when I got a job. I was working, getting out of the house, and therefore happy.

Well, a year later, I'm painting again. I'm itching to get out of this house. The enormous mortgage, along with my outrageous student loans, and 2 months of layoffs has made me have to pinch pennies. It sucks.

Someone came to look at the house Thursday. I drove by while they were here and saw what they looked like. Then yesterday (Saturday), there was a car that drove in front of our house and stopped and looked. I swear it was the same couple that came to look at the house (but anyone that knows me knows that my facial recognition sucks). I would love for them to buy the house, but I've shown it enough not to get my hopes up.

However, their looking has made me motivated to finish up the painting that I started. Something to give them (or any other perspectives) the extra push.

Painting was fun the first 5 minutes, but motivation was soon lost. Damn, why did I start? Now I HAVE to finish it, and have no motivation or energy to do so. I'm done painting for today. It's already put me in a bad mood, and I'm trying to not take it out on others.

Blah.

Lunch: Veggie Olio

2009-08-29T10:49:00.004-05:00

Ingredients:
1 c. Spaghetti (whole wheat)
1 tbsp Olive oil
2 tsp Garlic (chopped)
5 leaves Basil (fresh)
5 Cherry Tomatoes
2 tbsp Green onion
1/2 Green Bell Pepper

Directions:
Cook spaghetti according to package.

Chop Vegetables to desired size & sautee Olive oil, Garlic, Basil, Cherry Tomatoes, Green onion, Green Bell Pepper over medium heat for 5 minutes. Drain pasta and add to vegetables. Toss to mix. Then plate and serve.

Nutrition Facts

Veggie Olio

Serving Size: 1 serving

Amount Per Serving
Calories 413.3
Total Fat 21.2 g
Saturated Fat 2.9 g
Polyunsaturated Fat 2.1 g
Monounsaturated Fat 15.0 g
Cholesterol 0.0 mg
Sodium 7.7 mg
Potassium 530.3 mg
Total Carbohydrate 51.0 g
Dietary Fiber 9.1 g
Sugars 5.5 g
Protein 10.0 g

Mexican Corn Cake

2009-08-01T18:58:00.003-05:00

The first time I tried to make this, I didn't get it quite right. So, I revamped the recipe a little, and O.M.G. this is good!

Ingredients:

1 box of Jiffy corn bread mix
1 egg
1 can of cream corn
1 can of Mexican corn
1/2 cup of brown sugar (packed)
1/2 cup of milk

Directions:
Combine all ingredients in a bowl and mix. Spray and 8x8 baking pan with non-stick spray and pour in mixture. Cook in a preheated oven at 400F for 20 minutes.

Dressing a Stylish Kid for Less

2009-07-31T19:16:00.014-05:00

1. Buy special pieces. Its okay to spend a little more on one or two special pieces that you can mix and match with cheaper pieces.
2. Don’t preseason shop. Boutiques and stores display the next season’s clothes at full price. If you wait a month for the season, those items will usually be On Sale! In particular, Children’s Place and Gymboree change their collections often and try to rotate them through their stores every month or two, so they usually have a large amount of sale items.
3. Buy neutrals at discount stores. Solid tank tops, tee shirts, sweaters, skirts, and pants are sold at all prices. Unless there is something special (see Rule 1), there is no sense in paying top dollar for the same thing you can get at bargain basement prices!
4. Buy sweaters and tights. Sweaters and tights can extend a summer dress into fall and spring.
5. Mix & Match. Just because an outfit is sold together, doesn’t mean it has to stay together. Extend your child’s wardrobe by taking a special 2 piece outfit and mixing and matching it with inexpensive neutrals.
6. Buy a ½ to 1 size larger. Kids grow fast, and many retailers have taken that into consideration by making bottoms with the adjustable waistband. This will allow your child to wear clothes for longer. Clothes with adjustable waistbands are great for children who have little a little waist and a little more bottom. Don’t you wish adult clothes came like this??!!
7. Accessorize. You accessorize yourself, so why not accessorize your child! Changing the accessories can change an outfit. Accessories can be added to cost conscious neutrals to make the outfit a little more special and appear a little more expensive.
8. Don’t be afraid to overdress. Who says a little girl can’t play in a dress? The Amish do it all the time. Inexpensive sundresses to the park will bring style to any little girl. Not into dresses, then accessorize. Faux pearls can make a tee shirt and shorts look posh. Boys can accessorize too! Try a colored pair of sunglasses or a cool hat.
9. It’s okay to spend extra on items your kid will wear often. A lot of kids have 2 or more bathing suits. Last year, so did my daughter. Each were $15 or under. This year, I saw one online that was exceptionally cute. It was $35, which for me is too much for a bathing suit. However, it was so cute that I knew I would want her to wear it every time we went swimming. I spent the extra money, and it is the only bathing suit she got this year. It’s so cute that I will be handing it down to my niece, who is a year younger, for next summer!
10. Don’t buy anything you don’t LOVE. Just like it is a waste of money to buy something for yourself that you don’t love because you won’t wear it, the same goes for what you put your child in. If you don’t like the item, you are less likely to put them in it. It doesn’t matter if it is $2 or $200, if it doesn’t get worn, then it’s not worth buying.

Here is an example of special pieces. I bought this skirt and sweater at Gymboree, on sale of course! The skirt was originally $29 and I paid $9.99 and the sweater was originally $38 and I paid $14.99 for it. The skirt I got in season. It was from their spring collection which they displayed in February. I bought it on sale in April!

Here's the detail on the sweater...love it! I will also pair this with some dark jeans for her this fall and winter.

Here's an example of a solid tank bought at Wal-Mart mixed with the Gymboree skirt. The shoes I got at the Dollar store for $2!! They had VERY similar ones at Children's Place for $15. The only difference was the CP ones were open toe, which Kennedy can't wear to school anyway. I have gotten soooooo much use out of those $2 shoes. I bought them in both pink and purple.

And here's the same outfit with silver Target shoes.

For early fall or spring, I use a simple white long sleeve tee shirt from either Wal-Mart of Target, accessorized with a hot pink necklace.

For late fall, I would add an inexpensive sweater I bought from Wal-Mart (purchased on sale after Easter!). For winter, I would just add a pair of white or pink tights.

Accessorized differently.

This time with a necklace.

This dress was $6 from either Wal-Mart or Target, it's an example of a nice sundress she would wear to the park.

I found this sweater today at K-Mart. It was 30% off, so I got it for $7.00!!

Here's it paired with the dress (accessorized 2 different ways). My daughter can't wear spaghetti straps to school, so this sweater will definitely get a lot of use.

Lastly, here's my daughter in Wal-Mart or Target shorts and tank at the park. She accessorized herself!

Fruit Cobbler Dump Cake

2009-07-29T20:53:00.001-05:00

Since I've only been working Monday's lately, I have been very interested in cooking. I think mostly because it takes me away from the other tasks that I really need to do, but don't enjoy (i.e. mowing the lawn, cleaning, laundry, patching up walls, building new front steps, and did I mention laundry?!).

I had dump cake for the first time in my life a little under a year ago. At first bite, I thought, "O.M.G. this is GOOD!" I asked how it was made and they said, dump a can of fruit, spring a box of cake mix, and pour a melted stick of butter over it and bake. Easy enough. Except, the stick of butter doesn't go very well with my diet. So, I went to the internet and looked at a whole bunch of dump cake and low fat/calorie cake recipes. I decided to combine a few of the items and come up with a low cal/low fat dump cake. It is actually more like a cobbler in texture, so don't be scared that it's not done. I can't rave enough about how well this turned out. Soooo delish!

Ingredients:

1 Box of Cake Mixture (I used Betty Crocker Yellow Cake)
2 15 oz cans of fruit (I used one peach and one fruit cocktail, but you can use
whatever you prefer or substitute with one can 30 oz can of fruit pie
filling)
1 12 oz can of Diet Soda (I used Diet Red Code Mt. Dew)

Directions:

Spray just the bottom of a 9x13 cake pan with fat free non stick spray. Dump cans of fruit in pan, juice and all. Sprinkle the box of cake mix over the fruit. Then pour can of soda over the cake mix. Do NOT mix, that's why it's called DUMP cake! :-) Finally, cover and bake at 350F for 20 minutes, then uncover and bake an additional 30 minutes. Let cool for 15 minutes. Makes 12 servings. 195 calories per serving.

Not just a Princess

2009-06-13T15:53:00.000-05:00

I cannot tell you how excited and proud I am of the little girl I am raising. I have always prided myself on my own dueling personality. I love all of the girly things in life, but also have been a mechanic in the Army and can give any man a run for his money in carpentry. That's probably why I am so proud of my little sporty girly girl!

Today Kennedy had her first T Ball practice EVER. I was so amazed at how much of a natural talent she had. She went for every ball, hit the ball hard, and ran faster than the boys!

So, while she still has to have her hair fixed everyday, doesn't like to be dirty for too long after she's finished playing, and would rather buy a new pair of shoes anyday before a toy, she's also a tough girl, with a competitive side! I am just beaming with pride.

So proud of my little girl!

2009-05-25T22:38:00.000-05:00

After finding out in January that a fellow graduate of mine's daughter was diagnosed with Acute Lymphocytic Leukemia, I wanted to help in some way. I also thought it was a good way to teach Kennedy empathy.

I started an on-going conversation with her about how sometimes people get sick. I introduced her to this little girl through pictures, and tried to explain her story as best as I could in 3 year old terms. I explained that her and the little girl were the same age, and how they had things in common. For instance, they both liked Dora and love doggies!

I wanted her to connect with the little girl, and feel. We then talked about how we could help. I remembered how another fellow graduate's daughter had donated her hair. I asked Kennedy if she would be willing to do that. I explained to her how her hair could help make a wig that would make someone sick very happy. She was very excited to help.

I looked online about how to donate, and read the requirements for length. We measured her hair, and it wasn't long enough yet. Every month we'd measure her hair. Finally, this weekend we measured, and it was long enough!

All week we had been trying to explain to her Memorial Day, and teaching her how other's have been selfless and given a lot to their country. I showed her pictures of her Mommy & Daddy in uniform. Even the one where I'm 8 months pregnant with her! (Which noone else will EVER see!)

Since her hair was finally long enough, I decided that a great way to celebrate Memorial Day would be for her to have her first lesson in giving back. I started hyping it up, asking her if she still wanted to donate her hair. I told her over and over again how proud I was of her, and how much this would mean to someone else who needed her hair very much. And as she sat in the salon chair, getting ready to, and even during having her hair cut, I could see the pride on her face. And I've never been more proud myself!

Hugs,
Theresa

An Enormous Heart Filled with LOVE

2009-05-19T17:35:00.000-05:00

Before I had my daughter, I had never imagined how strong and all encompassing love can be. Sure, I had felt love for my husband, but the love of a child…your child, is different. Sometimes I look at her, and can feel my heart swell with love. The feeling of warm chills flowing through your veins…making you a little light headed. And just when I feel like there is no way I can love her more, my heart grows bigger.

I RAN my first 5K!!

2009-05-10T16:23:00.000-05:00

Well…I did it! I ran my first 5K Run yesterday. I’ve never been a runner. I forced myself to do it when I was graduating college and getting ready to join the Army National Guard. In the months up to joining, I found it extremely difficult to run, but loved the feeling afterwards. That changed though when I joined the Army.

Training was a killer for me. As someone who has never been a runner, or stick thin, I was slow. Not just normal slow, but severely slow. Like, people could speed walk beside me as I run, slow. Then it came time to take my first physical fitness test (PT test). This only confirmed that I was slower than two old people…well…you know how the saying goes. It took me 25 minutes to run 2 miles! I was embarrassed and humiliated. I was placed in group D for all the formation runs. D for Damn slow! For someone who is a perfectionist and had always pushed herself, this was extremely upsetting. There were words of encouragement, and the hope of someday moving up to a faster group. Ahhh…yes…something to strive for!

After about a month of running and pushing myself to improve, I felt I was ready to move up to Group C. This was my big chance. When it was time to get in our groups, I went over to Group C. The run began fine, but shortly into it I began to fall behind. I was told by Drill Sgt. Ellis to get to the front. Oh no! This was my worst fear. Everyone was going to pace off of me! So for the rest of the 20 minute run we ALL ran slow. I could hear the complaints behind me, from people wanting to run faster. At the end of the run, I was pulled to the side and yelled at in front of everyone for joining Group C, and banned for the rest of training to Group D.

My run never got much better for the rest of the 2 months I was there. As a matter of fact, after one long ruck march (where you carry a 30-40 lb ruck sack on your back), my run got worse. I now had a terrible pain in my right hip. I refused to get it checked out because one of the biggest fears in training is not repelling off of a 50 ft wall, but being recycled! If you were recycled for any reason, including an injury, you’d have to do this all over again with another company! I pushed through the pain, and tried my best. The final PT test was around the corner, and I was determined to pass. The day of the run, I pushed myself hard. I barely failed….by literally 3 seconds! I’m not kidding you. That PT test is still in my military file. Three lousy seconds!

I would get another chance to take it. The next day we did our last ruck march….15K! (9.35 miles) We marched out early that morning, and arrived by lunch time. We ate, set up our hooches (a tent made with a plastic poncho), dug ourselves a shallow fox hole, ate dinner, then spent half of the night pulling guard duty of one sort or another. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining about this. Under normal circumstances, I actually enjoy this kind of stuff. But this wasn’t normally circumstances. The next morning, they got us up at 5:00AM, and drove us back to the Battalion to retake the PT test! Yes, I got to retake my PT test….after taking the first one, hiking 15K with a 35 lb ruck sack the next day, then taking another PT test the following day! Not the idea situation, and obviously I didn’t pass again.

I eventually passed the test after some rest. I also later found out that the pain in my hip was a broken hip! Yep, I had stress fractures in my hip that I had been running on for a long time. Believe it or not, hip injuries are a common injury for females in Army training (if you want to learn more, there’s an article here: http://ajs.sagepub.com/content/8/4/265.abstract). Needless to say, this didn’t help with my hatred of running, which is why running this 5K was such a big deal to me.

This time, I chose to run. I decided how I would train for it, and I decided how I would test myself. For the control freak in me, this was satisfying.

Now, when I run, I run for me. I run without peer pressure…without scrutiny. And for the first time in a long time, I love to run again! I’m planning my next 5K in October. I don’t plan on stopping then either. My goal is to run a mini-marathon (13 miles) in the next year or so, then run a marathon with one of my former Drill Sgt’s (not the one in the story above) to his retirement!

Preparing for my 1st 5K

2009-05-02T15:01:00.000-05:00

Well, it's been a while since I have posted here. I really want to post more often. Let's see what has happened since I've been on here last. I got a different job (closer to what I want to do) with the same company. What else...let's see...yeah, that's about it. What do you expect, I live in Iowa!

One thing I've been doing for the past month in a half is preparing to run my first 5K! I've only been running 3 days a week, but have been trying to increase the amount of time that I run at once. I decided after getting out of the Army, that I wasn't going to put pressure on myself to run fast anymore because it discourages me from running at all. So, I've just focused on running period.

I ran the run path today, and timed myself. My only goal next week is to beat that time. I'm going for a personal best. Well...if you can call it a personal best when it is only the second time running it. LOL.

Absentee Blogger

2008-11-29T22:00:00.000-06:00

Well, I haven't been on here in awhile. I FINALLY got a job! A good one, with professional pay...one that actually is a career. I'm enjoying the job. The work is fun, though it is definitely not the place that I will be going out with co-workers. I have a strong personality, and people either love me or find me extremely annoying. From my experience, people who live in small towns usually find it annoying. Which is why I have decided to not communicate socially with my co-workers. It makes work lonely, but I think is the best for being productive and working as a team. To be perfectly honest, I don't find myself having a lot in common with them.

Other than working long days (at least 9 hours), I also have finally finished my dining room! I did every single bit of it myself. Including laying the bamboo floors, which wasn't as hard as I thought they would be. Here are some before and after photos of the dining room.

I have a DATE!!!

2008-10-06T09:18:00.000-05:00

Just officially scheduled my first section of the CPA Exam....Jan 17th! I wanted to sit in November, but all of the Saturdays were taken already and December is a No-Sit month. At least that gives me plenty of time to study!!!

Eligible to Sit

2008-10-04T20:30:00.001-05:00

Today was a good day! The hubby and I took our daughter to Des Moines to the mall. It was 3 hours in the car for 2 hours at the mall and 1 hour at a restaurant, but ohhhhhhhhh it was so worth it!

One of our favorite things to do is go to the bookstore and each of us spend time pining over all of the books to each find a perfect book to buy. It's so simple, but such enjoyment for us. The hardest thing about moving to a small town is the lack of a bookstore. Sure, there's Wal-Mart, but that's not the same of a building full of books that surround you with the sweet smell of cappaccino wafting through the air. It's MY heaven!!

The second thing that happened today to make it a good day is that I received my Eligibility to Sit for the CPA Exam!!! I'm so happy to finally get it, but at the same time, now means that I have to shell out yet another $220 to take the exam. Ugh. Oh, well...I'm going to bask in the accomplishment of making it this far in the process!

Economic Crisis - I don't have the answer.

2008-10-03T22:55:00.000-05:00

It is consensus that the sub-prime lending fiasco is one cause of where our economy is today. It is hard to wrap our heads around all of the causes of the world economic problems. One explanation is that it's cyclical, and if this is the case, then the market will correct itself. Others blame the greed on Wall Street. I think the answer is even more simple than that. It goes all the way back to the first lesson of Financial responsibility...not to live beyond your means. Plain and simple, if you make $100 then you shouldn't spend $110.

I would guess that we are ALL guilty of breaking this rule. How many of us have credit cards? I do. On a larger scale, our government has been doing the exact same thing. It was only a few years ago that our country had not only a balanced budget, but a surplus. As of July 2008 (the latest statistics I have), our government had a budget deficit of $ 482 BILLION. And from watching the news today, I believe that number is about to be $ 1.182 TRILLION. Is this the solution to the problem? I honestly don't know. My fear is that it is just a sand bag thrown into New Orlean's levee during Katrina. I'm not going to pretend that I know the answer. If this works, then I may not mind the thousands of tax dollars that this will cost me personally. My biggest fear though, is that it will be just a temporary solution, and not only will I then be responsible for still paying the extra thousands of dollars in taxes...but...I will be asked again in 6 months to give another bailout to a different set of company's going under.

We need to get down to the reasons that these banks need bailed out. Is it just greedy Wall Street? No. It began with Americans making too risky of investments themselves, in hopes of huge payouts. When I researched how much of a person's income their house payment should be, the consensus is 1/3 of your salary. I remember Mr. Burton (my high school VOC school Accounting teacher) telling us students the same thing. I disagree with this figure. I believe it should only be 1/4 of your income. Does this make me risk adverse? Absolutely. I have gotten into many arguments with our Financial Advisor that I am TOO risk adverse. My response to him is that having low risk will never make me a part of the super rich, but it will never leave me homeless either.

Sorry for the rambling.

Day One

2008-10-03T22:51:00.000-05:00

I recently moved to the middle of nowhereland. No friends, no job (as of yet), and little communication with anyone other than my 3 year old. As with all of us as we become adults, my friends all have their own lives. So, it's hard to keep in touch with anyone on a daily basis. I realize they're busy too.

This is the first time in my life that I haven't been insanely busy. It's driving me nuts!!

Just because I'm in the middle of nowhereland doesn't mean I have completley disconnected with the rest of the world. I watch the news (obsessively today), keep abreast of current affairs, and research what is going on in my chosen career field (in hopes of soon getting a job and still being relevant). The problem with still staying in touch with the rest of the world, is that there's noone to share it with. I feel like shouting out "I'm here, I'm knowledgable! Someone converse with me!!!" And hence...this blogspot is started.

I intend to use this space as a place to post my rants. The rants that I would love to post on MySpace or FaceBook, but because of my fear of every getting too emotionally close to anyone, I rarely feel like I can be open and honest on there. So, here I am. I plan on staying fairly anonymous by name, but 100% open and honest in my thoughts, opinions, and beliefs. I would love to find people who would enjoy to interact (whether they agree or disagree is not important) in an intelligent, open, and engaging manner. The only thing I ask is for all comments to remain respectful. I will always do the same. Thank you, and I look forward to everyone's comments.